I lay on a green mat, staring at the ceiling and furiously kicking my legs.  “One more minute,” says James, who looms over me, a tower of muscles.  My legs burn with discomfort, and I think that killing myself one flutter kick at a time was not really what I had planned when I joined this gym.  It’s painful and somewhat embarrassing to be laying here, my muscles burning, thinking that I really thought I was in better shape.  It was hard, and painful, and not what I had planned.   I kind of wanted to stop.

And then it kind of occurred to me.  You know, that quote by Albert Einstein, that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.  And the last few years flashed through my mind.  You see, I think of myself as a person who works out.  Kam and I walk and jog, play tennis, and put in our time on the treadmill in our building’s workout room.  And I was pretty comfortable with that.

But comfortable had gotten me exactly here, gaining weight slowly and all the while losing energy and stamina.

“Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

The weird thing about working for yourself is that you kind of get to set your own boundaries all the time.  You don’t have a boss standing behind you telling you to do the things you don’t want to do.  You’re responsible for every area of your business – from accounting to marketing, to product fulfillment and customer service – and there’s nobody telling you how to do it.  So it’s pretty easy to fall into comfortable habits that keep you plenty busy while your business just gets by.

And yet, how much time do spend wishing things were better?  That you had more business?  more publicity?  more time to spend with your family?

But what have you done to make that happen?

Like I said, it’s easy to stay within your comfort zone, but that doesn’t mean it’s going to get you anywhere.

So I’m off to another hour of torture training with James, and I think I need to figure out what I can change to take my business where I want it to go.  I need to get a little uncomfortable.  I need somebody to kick me in the butt.

Here’s to new days.  (This was actually the sunrise on our last wedding of the 2012 season/first wedding of the 2013 calendar year.  Kind of appropriate.)

xoxo